Days of Future Past

Today I was asked to perform an exercise. And I think I needed the good advice. 

1. Something the current you would tell yourself 10 years ago.

I know it's tough, and you're all alone. But one day you're going to meet some amazing people who make you feel included. You're going to have some wonderful Best Friends and go on some awesome adventures. But right now, you're going to have to deal with all those people who have abandoned you. And you don't have to try and hide inside. You don't have to make yourself bigger to feel safer. You just concentrate on being fit and healthy, and try and avoid some of the pain, because it's not worth it. I wish I could say I did it the right way, but I didn't. But that's ok because I'm going to fix it now. And btw (by the way in future speak) that trip to Paris? We did that. And you know how you always wanted to see lions in Africa? We did that too. So do your best but know this will all work out. P.S. When the time comes, and you'll know which time, don't be alone. Grab whoever you can and make them stay with you because the future gets better and that was too close a call.

2. What your future looks like, being as specific and detailed as possible

Future me looks an awful lot like Sarah Harding. Not the lame one from the movies, but the intelligent, resourceful large predator specialist who spends all her time in Africa studying Hyena and Lions. She is tough, and stronger than she looks, capable of hiking across the savanna if her 4x4 breaks down and dragging her friends out of danger. She is a successful and respected researcher, who has the funding and the PhD to do whatever she likes and she's working on working with the locals to protect their fauna. She can fix a car, shoot a gun and still have all the boys in the bar wishing they had the guts to talk to her.

3. What’s one thing the FUTURE you would come back and tell TODAY you so that you head down the right path?

Don't lose faith. Sure the path looks tough right now, but you'll get there. Never stop dreaming of Africa, and don't let others get you down. You can make it, you just have to want it. And as for the other thing, now is the time. Not tomorrow, now. Go sign up for the gym on Wednesday. Use what you know and get it sorted. Because there is a point to it all, and you will find your way. You just have to learn to stand on your own feet for a while and really stop letting it get to you. I know you think you don't care, but that's an act. Get the help you need to start feeling again. And don't let the darkness in. You're as strong as you want to be, so you need to want to fight. That last single inch is the most important and if you work at it, you can make that last bit of light grow bigger and bigger till it lights up your whole world. And when you do, you'll be unstoppable.